How Do I Know if I’m Gay?

Am I Gay?

When growing up, hormones are powerful things. It’s perfectly normal during this time to feel sexually attracted to men or women, or both.

But what if these feelings are very confusing and don’t go away? You might ask yourself, are you gay?

The first thing you need to know that if you are gay, you were born that way. Nothing you did or didn’t do, made you change. Nothing you can do can change this. It is who you are.

It is not something you need to change, either. You are still deserving of love, happiness, and respect.

How Will I Know?

Some men know they are gay from an early age. Others might realize over a longer time. If you still find women attractive, you might be bisexual.

Sadly, there is no definitive answer online to find out if you are gay. Only time and patience will help you find the answer.

But to help you figure this out, we have 3 areas to advise on:

• Coming out
• Making new friends
• Gay dating

Coming out – should I tell someone I think I might be gay?

Many gay men are afraid of telling people they might be gay. They fear rejection by family and friends, their workplace, or school.

Why? Historically there was a great stigma to being gay, which has thankfully improved over time. Now, more and more young, middle-aged, and older men are coming out to the world.

However, coming out is still a major part of being gay, and you might always be fearful of potential rejection. Take a moment, and breathe.

Family and friends should always be there to support you. If you share with them your sexuality, it shows you trust them greatly and want to involve them in your life.

Before deciding to come out, consider this:

1. Only come out when you feel ready. There is no time-limit. Coming out can happen at any age.
2. There are different ways of doing this – in person, writing a letter, or a phone call. Pick one that works best for you.
3. The 1st person you tell should be someone you trust.

How Do I Make Gay Friends?

Some people make LGBT friends separate from their family and work life. This can help give you confidence in working out what your sexuality may be until you feel comfortable coming out. So how do you make these friends?

1. Join local LGBT support groups which specialize in supporting new members
2. Join online forums or social media groups
3. Workplaces often run LGBT inclusive programs you can join
4. Pride events welcome all LGBT members at any stage in their journey every year.
5. Consult with your doctor, who may have a list of services or support groups you can avail of.

Finding love – gay dating sites

A great way of becoming comfortable with your sexuality is going on dates and talking to people.

Gay dating sites are very useful, especially if you don’t like near big cities or places with LGBT bars and nightclubs.

Your dating profile should include:

• Information about your life.
• Your likes/dislikes, hobbies, and passions.
• What are you looking for? (friends? Relationship?)
• Show pictures of yourself.

Some men are afraid of putting pictures of themselves on a gay dating app. Some put the word ‘discreet’ on their profile, meaning they will share pictures/information in private messages.

Never feel pressured to come out publicly by a stranger. It is your choice to make when you are ready.

Gay dating apps

Apps are primarily focused on sexual relationships and immediate intimacy than long-term relationships. Men who appear on these apps are usually very close by.

Whilst meeting new people might feel exciting, don’t feel pressured to do anything or share pictures/videos of yourself that you do not want to share.

Gay meetups

A nice, steady way of expanding your social circle is by joining social meetups. Many websites have LGBT groups who learn new skills, hobbies or socialize together.

You’ll meet other members of the community in a safe environment. Sometimes if you meet another single man, you might find a new friend…or even your first date!

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